Alone... once knew a psychic from New York (how’s that for conflicted!) who had moved to Los Angeles in the early 1980s. We became close friends, and once every 6 months or so he would give me a reading. Although I was somewhat skeptical at first, after a few readings I noticed that he literally couldn’t remember anything that he spoke about in the previous readings. This, he explained, was a good sign, since he was really only a conduit through which the information passed, and he didn’t retain the information in his conscious mind. During every reading, at some point, he asked me about my sister. Even though he (or the Akasha) was able to see my 2 brothers, I would explain each time that I never had a sister. He would say “Yes you do, I can see her.” This song is about a soul that exists on a different plane other than the physical, never able to come into our world. It is also about the sadness of never pursuing your passion. In some strange way, they mean about the same thing to me. - LISTEN

Mind Of A Child...The opening phrase of this song was a mistake that I loved so much, I kept it in the recording. I had gotten myself in the frame of mind to play this song, and thought that my mind and hands were in synch. As it has happened many times before, my hands seemed to have a mind of their own. After listening to this “mistake” several times, trying to understand what I was doing, I realize that the opening phrase represents a child’s view of the world, much like walking into a playground full of swings, slides, sandboxes, and many beautiful colors; Infinite possibilities, exciting anticipation. I used this type of theme throughout the entire CD, playing notes and holding down the sustain pedal to allow the rich, complex “bouquet“ of the grand piano to come through. This sound, to me, is the mind of a child. - LISTEN

Little Star ... For Christmas, when I was 6 years old, I awoke to find a small violin under the Christmas tree. I had barely remembered asking Santa Claus for this precious gift, but eagerly opened the case and hurriedly removed what was the most beautiful thing I had seen in my long lifetime. The first thing I played was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The violin was hand made by a gentle man named Hal Roach who lived in the Harris Acres area of Central Pennsylvania. My father once took me to see his shop where there were seemingly several hundred violins in various stages of completion. I was in Awe! I still have this violin, and have recently had it beautifully restored. Hopefully one day, one of my daughters will learn to play. My first violin teacher was Donald E. Hopkins who worked in the music department at Penn State University. Mr. Hopkins is likely the most influential musician in my life. He showed me what it was like to allow one’s soul to come through an instrument. This song is dedicated to him. - LISTEN

Ballet ...This song was inspired by two quite different scenarios. The Ballet is my interpretation of one of the dances done in the Nutcracker, where the tall dark Arabian Male danced with the beautiful lady. None of the songs on this CD were done to a click track, meaning there was no pre-set timing to follow, just the rhythm of my soul. I’ve always been amazed and respectful of when music and dance come together, where the only synchronization is the souls and minds of the artists. I think there is a lesson to be learned somewhere in there. The second part of the inspiration was the scene in Silence of the Lambs, where Dr. Hannibal Lecter was placed in a large cage, and was for the first time in a long time, allowed to listen to music. I seem to recall that the music he chose was a solo piano recording that was incredibly emotionally moving. I guess if I were locked in a cage and had one musical request granted, this is the song I’d like to listen to. It’s very human. - LISTEN

To Be A Man...I wrote this song at a very interesting time in my life, where I had just decided to give up fighting upstream, and let the river of life carry me where I was supposed to go. This concept of letting go has been a part of many religious and spiritual teachings, and even used in 12 step programs (let go and let God). If my memory serves me correctly, I was standing in a musical instrument repair shop on like a Tuesday mid-afternoon, unemployed, no idea of where my next paycheck much less rent check was going to come from, listening to a used instrument salesman pitching a piece of gear (“only used for 2 hours in a very famous Recording Studio in Hollywood . . .”), when I wandered away toward an electric piano that was being repaired by a kid who obviously didn’t want any attention being paid to him. When he finally, sheepishly looked up from his work, he told me that he had reworked the manufacturer’s sound on the piano, and asked if I would like to hear how it sounded. I said yes, and put the headphones on and touched the keys. The resulting sound possessed beauty that was unlike anything I’d ever heard, and my hands wrote this song. This song is about trusting a higher power than ourselves, and maybe more so, realizing that sometimes immense beauty exists in those that are the most afraid to show it. - LISTEN

Music Box ...I’ve always been fascinated and interested in music boxes. Simply by using wood and tines, artists have been making beautiful little boxes that play beautiful songs for centuries. Nothing high tech about these little jewels boxes. Imagine the ingenuity that one would have had to possess 200 years ago to make one of these. The songs that are played when the music box is opened are typically classically oriented. This song was inspired by music from the movie ‘Somewhere in Time’, and is a combination of Paganini, Rachmaninoff, John Barry, and Eric McCarl. Not bad company to keep! - LISTEN

Colours ...This song, at 6 minutes and 50 seconds will probably never get air play, since these days, Program Directors are only interested in 3 and one half minute songs that will keep your attention at least until the next Car Insurance commercial. I remember fondly a time when radio stations would “track” an album side one, then have a few commercials, then play side 2 in its entirety. You’re probably realizing a Thought Theme throughout all of this music. I’m definitely not anti-progress or anti-technology. I think that the answer to many of our questions and the solution to many of our problems should be sought from within ourselves, just like they used to be in the good ole days, whenever that was. I wish that people would play this song and take time to think. Once a day, that’s all I ask! I guarantee it couldn’t hurt. - LISTEN

Amanda Paige...This is the name of my second daughter. She was born on New Years Eve. My new piano had been delivered 11 days earlier, and when she came home from the hospital, my wife put her in a little chair in front of my piano, and even at a few days old, she made a connection to the music. Just as in All This Wonder, this song came to me, or should I say through me at the moment that connection was made. There is a seemingly simple, yet complex and attractive nature to this song. I guess that just about describes little Amanda Paige to a T. - LISTEN

Whispers...The opening note of this song was made by simultaneously playing a note and pressing the sustain pedal. The result is a “whoosh”-like sound that reminds me of a whisper. Yet, unlike the children’s game called Whisper Down the Alley, where a secret is told by one person to another, then that person whispers the secret to the next person in line, and so forth, this whisper stays fairly consistent, with only one change in figure before returning to the original theme. I could have played this song for several more minutes, perhaps an hour or so, changing themes and returning to the original. It takes me quickly into a state of satisfying meditation. - LISTEN

Take Me Home...Have you ever been in a situation where you stopped in your tracks and said, “How the hell did I get here?!” This song was written at a time in my life that I truly didn’t know where home was. I was abjectly miserable where I was, but had no one else but myself to blame for being there. Due to over reactions, misunderstandings, my ego, mistakes, self abuse, and any number of other self-defeating behaviors, at this exact point in time, I saw, with crystal clarity, how perfectly I had put myself in this tidy little craphole where I stood. They say that accepting responsibility is the first step to the solution. And to quote the Reluctant Messiah in Richard Bach’s Illusions, “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” Well, there was indeed a large gift eventually received: Purpose, Strength, Independence, Knowledge of what works, and maybe most importantly, what doesn’t work. Notice that none of those gifts are externally presented. - LISTEN

R...R stands for Rebecca, who was a very dear, close friend of mine during the early 1980s, and we met shortly after I arrived in Los Angeles via Dallas via Penn State University. The first time she heard me play, she told me that music was what I was chosen to do in this lifetime. This was the first time I recall having ever been spoken to as if there was a higher purpose for me in life. She also introduced me to several interesting people and organizations that I most likely would never have been able to find on my own. Many of the relationships I developed during that period are directly responsible for me being in the position that I currently enjoy. Rebecca is a sweet loving soul, and even though I haven’t been able to contact her in the last 10 years or so, wherever she is, I know that she is shining the light of love to all who come in contact with her. If you know a Rebecca that fits this description, please ask her to contact me. By the way, her last name is Love. - LISTEN

Beyond The Sea... I once heard a song by a popular Male British Pop Artist, which had a melody that was very attractive to me. At the time, I lived right on the beach in a little beach town near Los Angeles. My piano sat by the window overlooking the Pacific Ocean. One day I sat down to play the catchy pop tune, and as has happened many times before, and will happen many times again, the mind of my hands took over and I played this song. I was dreaming of a place beyond the sea, where the sailors would travel to find peace and revitalization of the soul after a long trip, a place of peace, community, and where everyone was free and life was easy. Do you think such a place really exists? - LISTEN

The Wedding...This song was in the midst of being created when a close friend of mine asked me to play piano at her wedding. This wedding took place at a beautiful quaint chapel on the Palos Verdes Peninsula overlooking the ocean. As I played while the wedding guests entered the chapel, my eyes looking at the gorgeous horizon, this song came together. In my many years in the Los Angeles area, there was always something spiritually soothing about the time I spent visiting this Peninsula. So much so that I moved here, and shortly thereafter, recorded this CD. The Wedding is a marriage of ourselves to doing what we know deep down in our soul is the right thing to do. That’s a perfect marriage.- LISTEN

Hello Aja ...My first child, Erin Aja McCarl, was born March 11, 1999. She was nearly 6 weeks premature, and weighed under 5 pounds. She had to be kept in the Neo Natal Intensive Care unit of Santa Monica Hospital for 11 days before she could come home. My wife and I visited her every day, but the time away from her was nearly unbearable. During the time that I was at home, I composed and played music almost constantly. The catalog of songs I composed during that period will likely take years to publish, but this single song seems to capture the feeling of her homecoming the best. By the way, Erin is a happy healthy little girl with energy, strength, and vitality far beyond her years. I chose this song to be the last song of my CD not as a good bye, but as a hello, because I truly believe that this is just the beginning of my journey. You’re all very welcome to come along . . .- LISTEN